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26-Jan-2018 17:23

"In high school, this girl was supposed to come over to watch some movies while my parents were gone.The night before, I set a couple of movies to record on Cinemax."Once, I met a girl through Tinder, and she was beautiful and interesting. As I approached where we were meeting up, she called me to ask if I was on my way and explained that she asked to meet here just in case I was a serial killer or something.Then during the date, she started calling me her boyfriend, and at the end of the date she told me she loved me and that I was an angel sent by God to her.We ended up back at her place watching a movie in bed and I couldn't make a move on her because I was afraid I'd have to use the bathroom.Turns out I did have to, and I ended up puking through the second half of 4.In all seriousness, Emily, thank you for being such a good sport about that.I'll never forget the importance of plans and a good home improvement store again." 7.

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Turns out there was some soft-core porn before one of the movies I recorded and of course that was the one she chose to watch.

You know when you're getting ready for a first date, and you're totally nervous and jittery?